I’m a big fan of the Macalope, the 128K headed nom de plume at MacWorld, and this week, he found a DOOSEY. One I had to share because of it’s such over the top granola crunching, essential oil, kale smoothyniess. A seemingly liberal writer who is also somehow a creationist, Virginia Heffernan has written what’s got to be the silliest article I’ve ever read about the iPhone.
Even the title smells of kale and yoga pants…
I mean, all I can see in my head are those illustrations of people becoming their phones, or photos of people peering at their phones zombie like, YOURPHONEISCONTROLLINGYOURLIFE!
Like the Horned One, the first thing the brings on the groans are the over-the-head compare Apple to a religion clap-trap…
“…signature “Sermon on the Mount” style… haloed in the logo’s glow”
Eventually she get’s into some seriously disturbing things.. seemingly upset that phone apparently holds our biology in contempt! It hates our body oils! It’s hairless! OMG INPUT FROM OUR FACE IS IGNORED! Who the hell is she? Jack D. Ripper?
I’m pretty damn happy my phone doesn’t have skin and hair, has a phobia of my skin oils… and I do repairs for when you phone and face start getting friendly.
The rest of the article she somehow blames the virtual keyboard of the iPhone for hours of lost productivity and the fall of western civilization… then goes into incredible exaggerations of her own data usage, then… oh hell.. just read it for yourself!
Happy Birthday, iPhone – Here Are My Crazy Ass Opinions
Read the Macalopes Op-Ed of the Op-Ed here…
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