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Justin Long The Turncoat – Shilling For Intel and PC’s??

BY GRABTHAR’S HAMMER!!! Justin Long is DEAD TO ME! Sir, How DARE you! The personification of the Macintosh to John Hodgman’s nerdy PC has started shilling PCs!!! We’ve not seen such a betrayal since Jerry Seinfield

Just Turncoat Long Is A Traitor

Justin Long Can’t Even Get Facts Right

15 years ago, Apple started an incredibly memorable advertising campaign called Get A Mac. Personifications of each platform extolled the virtues of the Mac, and the blunders of the PC, to a hilarious effect! Check out a great playlist of them below. 

But, proving no one is above selling out, the Mac guy is now a PC guy, and lying his ass off to boot! A series of ads by Intel feature Justin going on about the plethora of form factors available on the PC platform, showing they can play games, that some have touchscreens, some can support 3 screens, and some cobble together a full PC and a tablet. Each of these points is easily dismissed or debunked. 

  1. The choice is good, but there are plenty of silly-ass form factors out there, some cool! Some complete rip-offs as well. Form factors choice is not the decision-maker, especially considering some of those form factors include machines running AMD. 
  2. Games? Macs have NEVER been gaming machines, or everyone knows that. Oh, and I’m playing Witcher 3 and Death Stranding on my 9-year-old iMac, so get stuffed. 
  3. Microsoft and Apple have had very different approaches to touchscreen integration, and frankly, Apple’s approach has been better. No touch screen Macs? Yea, for god reason, at least not yet. 
  4. An outright lie about displays; at LEAST two 4k displays are supported, and if you try, SIX
  5. The hybrid form factor is nothing to boast about. iPads have been doing it for ages. I have one beside me, right now. 

This is funny considering it was reported that Justin Long reportedly refused to do outright anti-Apple ads for Huawei. I guess he got paid well enough to turn into his Mirror Universe duplicate.

Intel’s New Advertising Campaign An Embarrassment

Justin Long Terrible Intel Ads

Once Apple announced they would START moving toward their own processors, it was clear the management at Intel was SHITING themselves. Why would you take the time to attack a CURRENT customer? Apple still produces lots of Intel machines, and will for quite some time yet. Why would you attack a company that responsible for perhaps 2% of your revenue? Yes, Apple is a big company, but the actual number of intel machines sold is a mere fraction of what Intel sells. Why would you try and direct customers to a platform that is ALSO leaving you in flocks? Oh, it’s probably a good idea to ignore the strides that AMD is making, leaving Intel it’s in silicon dust

Frankly, Intel shouldn’t be trying to toot its own horn… and with these ads, they aren’t even tooting THEIR OWN horn. All those examples they show are also available in AMD variants and actually run better. And to make such weaksauce ads is just embarrassing. A rambling ad, “Your New Laptop 2021!” starts with two hilarious barbs at the Mac,  poor Jon can’t play Cyberpunk 2077 on his Mac, and can’t plug in a USB-A cable. 

THE UNMITIGATED HORROR!

I just finished Cyberpunk 2077 on my, again, 9-YEAR-OLD iMac. And not only is Intel conveniently ignoring the fact it’s responsible for the shitty USA-A form factor by showing Jon struggling to plug it in like a neanderthal, they then later in the video show him plugging in a USB-C device without missing an ironic beat. 

It’s grade school level bullying, wanton ignoring of facts, extolling of meaningless advantages, and spending of money by a new CEO perhaps more interested in making a splash. 

Fact: Intels 11th Generation Processors are still on the 10-nanometer process… something Apple hasn’t used for 4 years, the M1 is built using a 5nm process. 

Waste Of Time?

Why is Intel spending so much time and money on attacking something that has a fraction of the market share? Not only that, why are you proving yourself to be JUST a component supplier by showcasing items that derive their functionality via Microsoft and its Windows operating system, all the while ignoring those exact same machines also run a competitor’s product even better? I just can’t seem to think of any better target for their advertising!!

It’s all so pointless… so let’s enjoy some funny Get A Mac ads. 

Oh, and Justin Long is a f$%&#ng traitor. Fight me

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Ryszard (Rick) Gold, From Calgary, Alberta, Canada has over 20 years of experience working with Apple products in a technical capacity. Passionate about technology in general, his natural troubleshooting abilities, curiosity and appreciation of good design lead him into working exclusively with Apple Computer products.
Ryszard Gold
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